Sahel 1975

Njadema (Fort Lamy for french people) 1975

I arrived there for a mission in Chad : evaluate the risk of the rising rebelion in the north of the country. Military risk but also political in that country where France was still very present, almost at home.

Some days later, I moved to Abeche with my squad of specialists, and settled in a military controlled zone, but sufficiently away from the local command which was not to be concerned by our activities. A lieutnant giving rebufs or orders to a colonel, was somewhat something not really appreciated in the high spheres, even if I had the right to do so by the same high spheres. Stupidity lay everywhere !

Two days later, we were at work, meeting people, making acquaintance with some, discussing with others. No exclusion, market, church, mosque, hospital, shops ; civilians, militaries (french or locals), police, shop keepers, citizens or rurals, mainly men as with women a discussion was very problematic in a muslim country (BTW no comparison possible with what exists now in 2015) just someting social. The only real and useful females contacts we built was with Agnes and her daughter, not with the ambassador ‘s or diplomats wives.

They were just practicing the honourable job of whores ! Therefore in contact with many peoples. I never fucked any of them, nor any of my guys (I think), but two or three times a week, one of us went to meet one of them, retrieving the latest news that dropped in their hears.

Here, necessary to say who they were : Agnès was previously a nun in Katanga (previously in belgian Congo), she had been raped several time during incidents in Jadotville and left alive while several of the other sisters were murdered. Pregnant, she gave birth to Marie, but cut from her religious order, leaving Congo for Chad where she educated her daughter while working as  both prostitute and nurse. Marie started in the « profession » when she was 14. A scandal ? Most of their earning was used to help poor people and they were respected because of it.

What we learnt through them helped to avoid nasty operations planned in Biltine and Mongo by the rebels who returned to the Aouzou area in the north of the country after failure. I was recalled to Paris in spring 1976, when back, I strongly suggested to my « high sphere » to recruit Marie and also Agnès (if possible).

I write this short recollection, because Marie sent me today an e-mail informing of her mother’s death. Yooki and me will make the trip to Paris next monday. Respect is due!

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My concept

Already published on my profile on Fetlife.

It is true that pain is only a tool for me. Concerning those nailed nipples, what is great in it is the dilemma and the fear of the woman. For sure I do not feel any particular pleasure to inflict pain, but much more to feel in an almost physical way how they are hit by that pain, their revolts, their suffering, their fears or more their terrors, their hate sometime. Therefore I do not have any objection against pain in itself.

As for humiliation, one more time, I play much more on their own shame than on the gruesome practices made to please the ego of those who impose such actions. Forcing them to the wall, pushing them to transgress what they believe in including their limits, making them understand that they are no more like the others, it is another of my great pleasure.

Of the some 170 women I had in hand for an hour or for years within a little bit less than 50 years, only seven had made all the way with me, the gems remaining once the gangue was removed. None of those seven had any previous experience of sado-masochisme, physical or mental the same, but they remained

An exchange I had after a particlarly tough day with one of them, perfectly reflects their state of mine :

« How do you feel ?

- Dirty !

- Then ?

- I loved it. »

"Yes, you are right, pain and humiliation are a whole, that’s perfectly true . nothing is to be rejected, just adapt everything to yourself, like a suit."

Was my answer to a friend surprised by my comment on the picture "Nails and Symbian" (from Masterfulj on fetlife)

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